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Improve Low Self Esteem Confidence Self Improvement
You may be seeing this page for one of the following reasons:
If you feel this is in error, please fill out the following form:
Improve Low Self Esteem Confidence Self Improvement
You may be seeing this page for one of the following reasons:
If you feel this is in error, please fill out the following form:
Improve Low Self Esteem Confidence Self Improvement
You may be seeing this page for one of the following reasons:
If you feel this is in error, please fill out the following form:
Improve Low Self Esteem Confidence Self Improvement
You may be seeing this page for one of the following reasons:
If you feel this is in error, please fill out the following form:
Improve Low Self Esteem Confidence Self Improvement
Recently one of my friends sent me a mail asking me whether it’s possible to stop lying or not. After I told him that it’s completely possible he replied back asking me how can he motivate someone to stop lying.
In response to his message I decided to write this article so that I let everyone know how to make someone stop lying.
Why do people lie?
Every bad habit a person gets involved in has some kind of positive intention behind it even if it was something completely wrong. Some people become addicted to drugs just for the sake of feeling good.
While those people got involved in something that is totally wrong, still they had a good intention behind it which is mood regulation.
In order to help someone break the habit of lying you first need to understand the positive intention that he is trying to serve by lying.
How to motivate someone to stop lying
Some people lie to get attention, others lie to make others think that they are worthy while a third group lie to avoid the expected punishment.
In order to help any of these groups stop lying you shouldn’t teach them self control techniques but instead you must help them deal with these underlying causes.
For example if the main reason someone lies was to attract attention then you must help him figure out why does he need attention that much and then help get over this need.
In short, lying can’t be stopped by telling people that its bad but instead it can be stopped by helping them get over the underlying reasons that are the root cause for their lying.
Lying to yourself
This might sound strange but in fact a large percentage of people lie to themselves and even believe the lies just because they are too afraid to face the truth.
Many psychological researchers have proven that people who lie to themselves tend to believe the lies later on.
In order to stop lying to yourself you must first realize that you are lying to yourself then you must learn how to be brave enough to face the truth instead of hiding it from yourself.
Self-Improvement Tips : How to Overcome Shyness
Every innovator is different, and each as a preference for a particular style of innovation. There are at least four of these preference styles, and most innovation people will normally be aligned to one, or at the most two of them. The key thing about this is that you need to have an instance of all four innovation preference styles if you want to minimize the chance an idea will fail.
The first major innovation preference style is the Innovator-Creator. We all know these kinds of people – they’re the ones who dream up exciting ideas in a constant stream. Their talent is in seeing the inspiration in their surroundings and turning it into fresh new concepts that no-one else has thought of. The innovator Creator, quite literally, sees money growing on trees.
Innovator-Creators are exciting to be around, because they’re always upbeat and positive. They are the kind of individuals who always come up with out of the box thinking that challenges everyone in their organization. However, they can often be distracting, because even if they’re part way through a big problem, they are just as likely to start over because they’ve “thought of a better way” than finish what they’ve started.
This is the major flaw in the Innovator-Creator: they are usually terrible at implementation and execution.
These are people who might be fantastic at thinking new things up, but asking them to complete what they’ve started always ends up in tears. This happens even if they’re given sufficient resources to delegate the operational aspects of what they set out to achieve. They are characterized by extremely short attention spans and very low boredom thresholds. They’d much rather be dreaming up something new to do than completing what they’ve already started.
The lack of developed implementation skill is the main disadvantage of the Innovator-Creator, but they are also somewhat myopic when it comes to seeing the potential downside in any of their ideas. Because they find the process of creating unique new concepts to exciting, they will prefer to ignore any evidence that suggests their big new thing isn’t very good. Unfortunately for them, this means they will often start things which are eye-opening stupid, and they then wonder why their new things have exploded in their faces.
The characteristic that defines the Innovator-Creator which is always consistent is a love of ideas new, no matter whether they have much relevance to a particular problem or not. If you were looking for an innovator that deserves the label “cowboy”, then here is the group that deserves it.
Self-Improvement Tips : How to Overcome Shyness
Take a deep breath and let go… Let go of all the stuff you’re worrying about.
Easier said than done really, isn’t it? Most of us were raised to worry!
WORRY-
Do you have a worry button that when switched on, is very, very hard to switch off?
When this button is switched on, the mind fills with uncontrollable thoughts and scenarios, and the body, reacts with a range of uncomfortable and often painful emotions and physical ailments.
Let me ask you a question. If you had nothing to worry about, how would your life be and, how would you feel?
Would it be less complicated? Would you be happier? Would you be more motivated? Would you have more time? Would you feel lighter? Would you be pain free? Would you be healthier?
We have many life situations which cause us to worry, such as a loved one who has been seriously injured in an accident. When we worry, it sets the bodies ‘flight or fight’ in motion. The brain releases stress hormones into the blood stream such as adrenaline and cortisol and gives us the rev we need to deal with the situation.
However there are many life situations we needlessly worry about. We press the worry button to on, when we re-visit past events, or, when we probe into the future to try and manipulate upcoming events. We try and solve old issues and we try and fix things before they even happen!
We can worry about the kids, our partner, our parents and the family pet! We can worry about whether we are good enough, skinny enough, tall enough, rich enough. We can worry about paying the bills, fitting all of our commitments into a day or even, the block of chocolate we ate two days ago. We have so many things in our life which cause us to press our worry button to on, and keep it switched on!
Being in this state eventually takes its toll on our decisions, actions and ultimately our physical body. When our body is constantly flooded with stress hormones, our immune system becomes suppressed. The inside of our arteries become damaged, which can end in a heart attack or stroke. There are simply no benefits from needless worry.
Research has shown that trying to suppress thoughts can only make you think the thought more. If you try to suppress a thought hard enough, that thought can become an obsession.
Here are 5 ways to help you stop anxiety and worry-
Awareness- Become more aware and vigilant with your thoughts. Check in to them regularly throughout your day, write down what annoys you and when, then rate this reaction on a scale of one to ten. You will become aware of what triggers your ‘flight or fight’ sending nasty chemicals throughout your body, locking your muscles and creating tension and pain. Then ask yourself, ‘What if this happens?” What is the worst scenario? Keep peeling back the layers with this question until you come to the very core of your concern.
Affirm- Take the power out of the thought which is creating the worry by affirming the opposite. If you don’t think you can cope with a challenge, because you think you’re or incapable, or, you feel too vulnerable a simple statement affirmed out loudly and repeated such as ‘I can do it’, will empower you and give you the strength needed to accomplish the task. If you worry about your kids, and you have no control over the situation- A simple statement to stop the negativity from thrashing around in your mind is – ‘I am a good parent’ -Remember there are good values you have instilled in your children which will carry them through rough times, and there are experiences in which they have to endure to learn, and grow from.
Meditation is for your mind what exercise and healthy food is for your body. It’s important to take ‘time out’ to release your worries and quiet your mind. Often it can be difficult when you are feeling anxious and worried to meditate or to still those worrying thoughts that hammer away. A good quality guided meditation CD can help you do this. When you listen to someone guiding you to relax and let go of your thoughts you will reverse the symptoms of anxiety and worry and very quickly feel back in control.
If you have trouble sleeping at night because of anxiety and worry, place a CD player next to your bed with a meditation CD in it. It is important to have this set up before you go to sleep, as it makes the task much simpler when you are tired and fumbling around in the middle of the night. When you wake, all you have to do is roll over and press the on button. A good quality Meditation CD with a professional who gently guides you into deep relaxation and a peaceful place will have you relaxed, calm and back into a blissful sleep in no time. You can also download a meditation CD onto your iPod and use it wherever and whenever you choose.
Mental stimulation- Replace worry with new, invigorating, and stimulating thoughts- Take up a new hobby, learn a new skill, practice crosswords or word games
Look for the Positive- If there is something in your past you keep focusing on, instead of looking at the negative, look for anything positive that came from it, and focus on it. If you look deep enough you will always find some positives. If there is something right now or in the future you are focused on, seek out the positive. Seeking professional advice is also advisable and beneficial. Speaking to a professional can help you see things from a different perspective and can help you relieve you of fear and guilt often find solutions.
“If you keep the telephone of your mind open to happy, joy, passion and abundance. Then, whenever guilt, fear or anger try to call you, they will keep getting a busy signal – and soon they’ll forget your number.”
Don’t allow anxiety and worry to rule your life, implement these simple strategies and be happy, fulfilled and healthy, so you can live the life of your dreams.
Self-Improvement Tips : How to Overcome Shyness
Everyone has experienced grief even once in his or her life. You grieve over loss of something or someone important to you. Others grieve when they fail in achieving a dream. Although each has experienced the same sentiments, not all have the same ways of dealing with grief. Different people deal differently with their losses or failure in life. However, there are some positive ways to deal with the situation. Here are the easier ways of dealing with grief.
Acceptance
Denial for the loss or failure is the initial stage in dealing with grief. However, you cannot stay in this stage for a long time. You need to face the whole situation and accept the loss or failure. Although it may not be easy at first, acceptance is the key to dealing with grief. When you learn to accept you the condition, then everything becomes easier. The process may take longer than you actually think. The stage can be a case-to-case situation. Depending own your own pace, you can find ways to help it flow smoothly. Some people suffering from grief try to move faster in dealing with grief and they tend to underestimate this stage. In the end, they fail in the whole process because they have not completely accepted the situation. It is therefore important to embrace the situation well before proceeding to the next stage.
Talk about it
Some people want to keep the problem within them. However, many feel more comfortable talking about the grief rather than keeping it. One way in dealing with grief is to confide your feelings to a trusted person. This can be your best friend or a close family member. When you express your feelings, you have someone to share it with, which helps lighten your burden. As they say, dealing with grief is lighter when you have someone to share it with.
Join a Support Group
If you think you can no longer keep dealing with grief alone, you can look for support groups. Support groups can be your acquaintances or other people who have the common situation as yours. You can find them in your local community or in the online community. All you need is to go out from your hiding place and share it with someone.
Consult a Counselor
Counselors are always available if you need their help. They can assist you in dealing with grief. By helping you using scientifically proven ways of releasing your feelings, these people can assist you in the most professional way possible.
Grief is inevitable in one’s life. However, dealing with grief is easy as long as you know that you are not alone and there are people who care enough for you.
Self-Improvement Tips : How to Overcome Shyness
In order for us to know how to match and build rapport with others, we must first be able to observe others with precision. In NLP, we call this calibration. Calibration is a process to help us fine tune our distinctions from an objective point of view rather than a subjective point of view. Calibration is the single most important element in modeling.
How do we calibrate? First of all, our ability to calibrate comes from the various senses. Let us focus on building our ability to observe through these three basic senses, namely the visual, auditory and kinesthetic senses first.
Observe differences in body language, tonal voice, and words that are used by people and notice what difference there are in these three things that affect these people’s states.
The main objective of calibration is for you to make comparative distinction; this is similar to the game played in Sesame Street, in which the player has to figure out which person in the group is not doing the same action as the rest of the group.
The key focus for calibration is to describe, not evaluate.
For instance, if a person is sitting down, your description could sound like this, “You are crossing your right leg over your left, with your left arm crossed over your right, and your head is tilted slightly to your right.”
An evaluative judgment would sound like, “You are being defensive.” Likewise, instead of saying, “You are angry!” you could say, “You are frowning, your arms are crossed, and you are breathing heavily.”
The test for you to determine if your statement is an evaluative judgment would be to ask yourself, “Could this behavior mean something else to someone else in the room?
Would they disagree with my judgment?” If you can find an alternative judgment, then, there is a very high chance you are making an evaluation.
Keep to the objective details best as you can.
Here are some recommended personal exercises you can do to improve your calibration skills.
Visual Calibration One way is to compare what you friend just wore yesterday with what he is wearing today. You can also identify slight changes in a person’s breathing pattern or in a person’s sitting posture. Another way would be for you to identify different mix of cars simply by looking at its silhouette.
Auditory Calibration For those of you who would like to do some auditory calibration, pay attention to a person’s footsteps by closing your eyes. As you do that, will you be able to identify who that person is?
If you close your eyes and stand by the side of the road, notice, would you be able to tell whether a vehicle car passing by is a 1.6 liter or 2.0 liter car, or whether it is a taxi or a van?
Kinesthetic Calibration For those of you planning to improve your kinesthetic calibration skills, I would suggest that you visit a garment or fabric store. In the store, close your eyes and feel the different types of cloths that are available within your grasp. Feel what it is like.
Notice the texture and the feeling, the warmth, or the coolness of the particular fabric and make your judgment.
Through practicing calibration, the building of rapport will gradually become second nature enabling us establish social relationships with ease.
Self-Improvement Tips : How to Overcome Shyness
We have a tendency to reflect what is going on with ourselves onto other people. Meaning if you are negative you will have a tendency to wear negativity all around you. You will express it in the way you walk the look, the way you view the world and the way you talk.
One easy way to break out of this mold is to start talking more positively. Try to see everything with rose colored glasses. This may take some getting used to at first but it will really make a big difference in your life!
An easy way to expedite this new way of living is to set up attainable goals for yourself. Starting out, set a goal where you will compliment someone every day. Once you get better at this you can raise your goal.
Complimenting others will have MANY positive effects on you.
1) People will see you as a confident charming person
2) You will see how your simple words made someone feel really good about themselves and that will make you feel good about yourself and more CONFIDENT
3) You will start to notice that people want to be around you more often
Complimenting is REALLY easy. Just keep your eyes open. Opportunities to compliment people are ALL over the place. From the color of someone’s eyes to the clothes they wear to their car, etc.
Don’t be creepy about it or make a deal out of it. Just make it natural as though you just noticed.
For example if you are talking to someone and they have beautiful colored eyes.
“Wow you have really nice eyes.”
They will say thank you and they you say you’re welcome.
THAT is it no need to spend any more time on it. They will feel awesome and you will get to take joy in the fact that you just made someone’s day.
Self-Improvement Tips : How to Overcome Shyness
Much of our modern society is getting faster paced with every passing year. We are all searching for ways to allow us to complete things that we need to accomplish in the quickest time possible so that we are able to have more time to have for ourselves. This may get all of us into difficulty if carrying out things quickly means that errors happen. When this happens we all commit more hours correcting errors. This may create a vicious cycle. There are times when we merely have to slow things down.
The most effective things that we could do to aid ourselves would be to become a lot more organized. Organization will help us manage our time far better. There are lots of advantages of time management. We are able to be more effective in addition to more efficient. When we are more efficient we help save time and expense. Some other advantages of time management include serving the company you work for cut costs. This results in a satisfied employer so when this reflects back to you, it might mean extra compensation in income or a day off.
I do believe most of us realize the advantages of time management, however applying the skills can be something new to all of us. I personally discovered that lists work well for me personally. When I make lists at the start of every day I discovered I’m much more likely to get the stuff completed that are necessary. My routine every morning is to jot down the things that I’d like to in addition need to achieve that day. I then focus on the list in order of what exactly is most critical to complete. As soon as this is done I look at any kind of related duties which can be done along with each other. As an example if I must meet with a co-worker on a different floor as well as deliver reports to a different division I will do this at the same time. By doing this I’m away from my desk for just one stretch of time hence reducing the amount of running around I have to do. I additionally do the maximum amount of correspondence at one time as you can to reduce how many trips to the printer, copier and mail room. Several trips uses up time. Furthermore I find when I am out and about away from my workplace I spend time greeting co-worker and performing other activities that can eat away at my time.
As soon as my list is created and prioritized I start out with the top item and begin working my way down. If I am on a limited schedule I limit the amount of interruptions by placing my phone calls through to voice mail to reply to later and also close my office door. What ever is not finished on my checklist by the conclusion of the day gets added to the list for the very next day. A few of these methods may seem rigid, nevertheless the advantages of this time management pay off by getting stuff done and creating more time by the end each week. Because I’ve been doing my work following these methods I find that i’m frequently able to leave earlier by the end of the week.
Self-Improvement Tips : How to Overcome Shyness
The coaching process, especially a long one, can be quite unpredictable. Over time, when the relationship between the coach and the client develops to a certain level, the client may allow him or herself to become more openly emotional.
If that situation occurs, some coaches might get a bit concerned, thinking that the client may need more profound help than a coach can offer. Unless the emotions become uncontrollable, there is nothing to worry about, though.
On the contrary, if the client becomes overly angry or tearful in certain situations, that can mean a few things.
Firstly, the client is showing behavior of a normal human being and all the emotions that come with that. Secondly, it shows that the coaching process might be working well even on deep levels, where usually a reaction like that gets triggered. Thirdly, it shows that the level of rapport between the coach and the client is such that the client feels comfortable enough to open up and let the emotions flow.
If, as a coach, you feel uncomfortable in a situation like that, the best way to handle it is to step back and let the client “live” the emotion. By releasing that particular emotion, he/she makes more room for further discoveries and will be more relaxed in the rest of the coaching process.
As a coach, you don’t need to search for reasons for the emotional outburst. Often the reasons are not as important as the fact that the client is prepared to act in an open and relaxed manner. There is also no need to try and heal it or fix it – allowing it and being OK with it is perfectly fine.
By showing understanding and letting clients take their time to deal with whatever emotion they need to deal with, is the best response you can offer.
Natalie Ekberg is an international personal and executive coach and offers self-improving, motivational and coaching e-courses and e-books as well as face to face or telephone coaching.
Self-Improvement Tips : How to Overcome Shyness
The expression of Gratitude has the capacity to transform your life, to develop the connection with Divinity, with your true inner self and the profound power within, to inspire, and to bring forth bounty and joy into your life.
By establishing the habit of daily reflection on Gratitude for the blessings in your life, you will find you draw more and more of the positive and uplifting energy, emotion and events into your sphere.
To establish a new and positive habit, it is recommended to undertake the new behaviour daily for at least thirty days. Daily Gratitude needs not take any time from a busy schedule. Just a quiet moment in the day can be a wonderful opportunity to focus and give gratitude for all the wonderful things in your day.
One option is to keep a Gratitude Journal and enter in it daily the things in your life and in your day that you are grateful for. Or join those of us who express gratitude on blogs so we may all share and thus multiply the energy and awesome power of Gratitude.
If you are feeling a little glum and having difficulties with thoughts of Gratitude, then that is even more reason to start. As you consider things to be grateful for, your energy and emotions with begin to transcend to higher levels, and you will find more and more around you worthy of your gratitude.
Start even with something small – the connection and possibilities you have to reach out and connect on the internet, the warmth of the sunshine, the enjoyment of your meal, the home that provides shelter, the conversation with a fellow passenger on the bus or train.
As you start thinking about things to be grateful for, you will find the list growing, the positive energies increasing, and more and more joyous and abundant happenings occurring in your life.
Gratitude is an important part of the Law of Attraction, the process of Manifestation, of Prosperity and Abundance, and also of Personal Development and Growth.
If you choose to visit gratitudeblog, please bookmark the page and post daily if possible, or leave a regular comment on your experiences and expressions of Gratitude.
Once you bring your focus to Gratitude, the results can be awesome! I look forward to reading your posts or your experiences and the sharing of that Gratitude with others.
Enjoy and be grateful for the beauty of your life.
Self-Improvement Tips : How to Overcome Shyness
You’ve been saying your affirmations over and over for days – maybe even weeks – but you just don’t feel like things are happening for you. This is normal. It’s also the point that many people give up. They stop saying their affirmations, dismissing affirmations as something that “doesn’t really work.” Is that really true?
It’s not true. Affirmations and mindset changes really do work. It can take some time, however.
Think about all the beliefs that you hold now. Sit back sometime and “watch” your thoughts. “Watch” the way you react to things that happen in your life. Are your thoughts negative? Do you react to things by getting upset, angry, “giving up,” or blaming others? Do you get easily stressed out?
This is a pretty typical way to react to situations in your life – many people do the same. And you’ve probably spent years of your life developing your attitude and reactions. You’ve practiced your negative thoughts over and over, every day, for years (maybe even decades).
Don’t expect huge changes to happen overnight – but you can expect results to start coming quickly and increase exponentially as your mindset changes.
Go back to what I said above – you’ve been “practicing” negative thoughts and attitudes over and over – for years. Those processes are hammered in to your mind. It’s going to take some hammering to change those and replace them with new, positive thoughts.
Imagine a small boy with a hammer, a nail, and a piece of wood. Little boys are not the most skillful craftsmen you can find. But a little boy with a hammer and a nail is very enthusiastic. He will put the nail up and swing the hammer down, just as he has seen Daddy do. He will probably miss the first few times. The nail will scatter away and he’ll have to get up and run after it. He may even hammer his finger a time or two and take a break while the tears subside. But eventually, he will get it. He’ll get the tip started in the wood. He’ll keep hammering and hammering, and finally that nail will be driven down into the wood. In fact, he’ll probably keep hammering so hard there won’t be any hope of ever getting that nail out again!
You can and should use this same process with your affirmations. If you keep hammering them, eventually they’re going to stick. They’ll go down deep in your mind and become part of you. As they become part of you, you’ll find that you automatically begin to react how you want to. You’ll think how you want to. You’ll act how you want to. And once your thoughts, words, and actions are congruent with who you want to be, you’ll attract the life you want to have. You will achieve your goals and see your dreams coming true.
Self-Improvement Tips : How to Overcome Shyness
If you are someone who knows that “giving up” or throwing in the towel is not an option, then there are many avenues you can choose to take on your quest for financial success. However, with all the scams and dishonesty in the world today, finding the right business opportunity can be very confusing, scary, and quite overwhelming. The time it takes to find the business/opportunity that’s right for you, and disqualifying the ones that are not, can turn into a job in itself. And considering how much you’ll have to learn along the way causes the majority of us to be detoured and shy away from our original plan. Leaving us “without” the opportunity to fulfill our dream of having that home based business we really want to make the money we need in order to spend our time the way we “choose” to, not how our financial circumstance determines.
It’s a different life when you are able to wake up in the morning and “choose” how your day will go. “Living the dream” as we call it.
Goals and dreams are set to be accomplished. Everyday we see, and know people that are reaching and surpassing the ones they’ve set for themselves. STOP!!! Watching, waiting, and “hoping” that it will happen to you. It’s time to MAKE IT HAPPEN!!!! Only you can take the 1st step.
Luckily there are many others ahead on the same path that you, fortunately, can learn from. The road has been paved for you, all you have to do is follow it. Every road leads to somewhere, and each individual experience will determine the outcome of that journey. We wish you the best of luck, and hope that you are able to find exactly what you are looking for.
Good luck on your journey.
Self-Improvement Tips : How to Overcome Shyness
Do you compare yourself to others? Have you thought, he/she is more educated, has more money, bigger house, more expensive car, clothes and vacations? What do your comparison thoughts create for you? Do you feel less than, because others have more than you? Do you feel inferior because others have more than you? Do you think those who have more than you are judging you in some fashion?
Or have you compared yourself to others who have less than you? What does your comparison thoughts create for you? Do you feel better, because you have more than others? Do you feel smug that you have created a lifestyle or more wealth than others? Do you keep those who have less than you at arms length?
Both of these comparing forms and the associated feelings are toxic to your well being. An ancient philosophy simply says, ‘Comparison is the death of joy.’ You are here to compare the difference between how you are being and becoming and being who you truly are in the light with God.
Today is the perfect day to practice being who you truly are. I am the best I can be today. Today is your personal best. “Je suis plus qu’hier et moins que demain.” – French Proverb. [I am more than yesterday and less than tomorrow.]
Be grateful for what you have. Remember comparison is the death of joy.
Stand and sit a little taller. Imagine your head being lifted by an invisible beam of light. When you act confident, you will feel more confident.
Do something new. Achieve things that will boost your self-confidence.
Stop worrying. Live, knowing that it is your choice to be happy or sad.
Maintain good health. Exercise regularly. Maintain a healthy food plan
Know you are worth the effort to be the best you can be.
Value yourself. People only treat you as well as you treat yourself.
Face your fears. Fear is false evidence appearing real. – i.e. The sky is falling.
Create your personal best all ways always.
Self-Improvement Tips : How to Overcome Shyness
Old and New Wineskins Do Not Mix
Today, thank God, their are many preachers who are standing up and boldly declaring the true Good News. They are preaching a message full of New Covenant truths. They are preaching messages that are full of the God of love. Basically, they are preaching the truth about the grace of God. But, unfortunately, their are still untold multitudes of God’s children that are still being fed the cold, dead “meal” of the law. Jesus’ glorious bride is still so often being taught that she is nothing more than an ol’ sinner that made a decision to accept Jesus. The church is still being taught that, “you can’t change the sins and situations that you’ve been bound with. Those things are always gonna plague you until you get to heaven, and that’s just the way it is.”
Well, I am privileged to stand up and boldly declare that those kinds of statements and teachings are a lie! And they are a lie that you don’t have to receive. The Bible says in 2 Cor. 5:, “He that is in Christ is a NEW CREATION.” That verse literally means that you have received a new nature, and you are not the same person that you used to be. Glory to God! Jesus said in Matthew 9:17, “Neither do men put new wine into old bottles: else the bottles break, and the wine runs out, and the bottles perish: but they put new wine into new bottles, and both are preserved.” In other words, preachers are supposed to preach the “new wine,” which is the grace of God. They are not supposed to preach a mixture of old and new. Our message has to be one of the grace of God, and the grace of God alone. No mixture of grace and law. Only the new wine of grace. For when we mix the new wine with the old, the new is made of no effect.
As the scripture says, when they are mixed, the bottle breaks and the wine perishes. Paul even said in Galatians 5, that, “when a Believer tries to be justified by the law instead of faith in God’s grace, that Believer has fallen from grace.” (Gal. 5:4) If a Believer tries to live a life where they are justified and blessed by legalism, they make the grace of God of no effect (Gal. 5:4). But, glory to God, when the new wine of grace is put into new bottles, or in other words, when the preaching of New Covenant grace is put on the inside of New Creations, aka new bottles, then both are preserved! Hallelujah!
Turn These Stones Into Bread
In Matthew 4:3-11, we have the account of Satan’s temptation’s to Jesus. Now, in verses 3 and 4, we have the first temptation of out of the three. These two verses say, “If you be the Son of God, command that these stones be made to bread. But Jesus answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God.” Here, Satan tried to get Jesus to turn “these stones” into food. Today, Satan is doing the same thing. He tries to get as many preachers as he can to turn the law into New Covenant spiritual food. But that, my friend, cannot be done.
New Covenant creations can ONLY be sustained by New Covenant food. But, Jesus knew that He could not just up-and-get rid of the “stones” just b/c He wanted to. He couldn’t just, “sweep it under the rug.” But rather, He knew that He had to legally fulfill the full requirements of the law. If Jesus would have been deceived by Satan, or if He would have just chose to give in to Satan b/c of the extreme and horrendous pressure from this spiritual attack, then man would have still been spiritually dead, and still under the law. But, thanks be to God that Jesus did not fail us!!! But rather, He fulfilled the law, and He legally turned those stones into bread! He made the law obsolete and gave us the true spiritual food that we needed to be in fellowship with God, which was grace!
Jesus said that, “unless a man drank of His blood, and ate of His flesh, then he would surely die.” So, my brother and sister, make sure that the spiritual food that you are eating, is the blood of the lamb and the bread of life, which is Jesus! If someone serves you two dead, lifeless, cold stones for your spiritual food, then kindly don’t eat it. But, make sure that you are continually feeding upon and being sustained by spiritual meals of grace. See, when you feed upon grace, you are partaking of Jesus Himself. And, as Jesus said, when you, “eat of His flesh and drink of His blood, you will never die!” (John 6:54-56). You will be strong and victorious in your Christian walk, and you will endure forever more!
Self-Improvement Tips : How to Overcome Shyness
I’ve been practicing a new flair attitude. I want to admire people.
Admiring somebody seems gushy and cheesy; we think about valentines or romantic movies. But the real meaning of admire is to esteem, respect, and have a high opinion of someone. I want to be the kind of woman who thinks highly of all kinds of folks for good reasons. What I admire about people can reveal to me what I value. It tells me what my heart thinks is good, noble, and right.
I used to admire wealth, prestige, and my appearance more than anything. It’s embarrassing to admit how much. For almost 2 decades I pursued every accolade possible. I admired people with advanced degrees, people with political power in Washington, and couples with the kind of wealth that lets them own several vacation homes. I admired beautiful women who dressed fashionably and went to the salon on a weekly basis. I had the time and means to live that way. I hung around people like that, at those sort of houses, and at those kinds of parties.
I wasn’t happy.
Today, I’m a completely different person. I can tell just by what I admired over the last few hours. My days, not surprisingly, are devoid of material wealth, prestige, or a salon appearance. I live in a small town in a rented house; nobody even cares about my academic degrees; my hair is still in a pony-tail from this morning. I can’t remember if I washed it.
But I did something right today:
I admired-with flair-my daughter’s incredible 2nd grade teacher for her creativity, devotion, and genius lesson plans. I admired a man battling cancer while I ate biscotti in his kitchen. I admired a salesperson who treated me kindly. I also admired three girls who rode their bikes up a huge hill without stopping to catch their breath.
I even admired the dogs in my neighborhood for their consistently joyful tail wagging.
I just admired my youngest daughter for enduring strep throat with a good attitude today. And now, I’m off to admire my husband who just left to pick up a new prescription of antibiotics.
Living with flair means learning to admire the authentic thing, the raw parts of really living, that show me what is so good and right about my life.
Self-Improvement Tips : How to Overcome Shyness
The Problem…
If there is no plan for achieving goals, goals become empty gaps in your life that never get filled.
Self Help and Motivation
What do you want to do with your life? You must have some sort of hobby or passion. How do you fix your life?
Ask yourself. “Are you happy?”
An interesting thought…If you asked your children/wife/husband if they thought you were happy, what would they say?
If you have been working on this thing called happiness for awhile and people are not seeing you as a happy, what is missing?
You ask yourself, “How did I become unhappy?”
The First Sign You Want Change
You stop focusing on the problem of unhappiness and move towards a Solution. The solution becomes the new focus in your life.
Some of us leave our spouses and try to see change. Some of us feel sorry for ourselves and move into a depression and almost see depression as a solution.These people look at the things they have in there life as lacking and live in a constant perpetual cycle always looking in the past. They see themselves as trapped and not being able to change in a happier way, they even lose the concept of what change is in their life. The only concept of change they have is fear of change.
Sometimes a challenge motivates people. When they are at their heaviest in weight or their saddest moments, it triggers wanting to challenge themselves to change. It can take the absolute worst moment to move into a cycle of good change! Most people need a solution to why they feel the way they feel, they sometimes need somebody (Psychiatrist) to tell them they are unhappy and in turn this helps them figure out how to change.
A Plan is the Solution
Before you can change your life you have to have a plan. If you don’t have a plan than there is no direction, just frustration.
Make Your Plan Viable!
The only way to do this is to make it a plan you truly believe in! The plan becomes something you can work on easily. The exciting part is you become part of the plan and develop an easy passion for it, because it’s yours.
So if you want to be thin, want to write a book and get it published, submit art to an art gallery or go in a marathon. You have to have a plan on how you are going to do it. The plan puts value on the goal, the passion… Hence the dream.
Within your plan you may have to dare yourself to go through the Plan (steps) of change. Even though you have custom made the plan for YOU…There are some parts of your plan that may be just plain scary. Like submitting art to a gallery or sending your book to the publishers. That is why each plan has to be individual, because some people really have a hard time with motivation, self discipline and procrastination.
Going to an art gallery and submitting a painting might be scary, so why not tweak the plan and get to know people in that area of expertise first. That would be something you would write down and put in your plan before you go and submit the painting. It will establish a better confidence for you. It is much more believable to YOU and Motivation, self discipline and procrastination will be a thing of the past!
The Active Pursuit
This is when your life changes.
Try this…
Change your thinking! If you are worried about going in a marathon, but would really like to, how about you say, “I will train for a half marathon.” This goal is more believable then saying, “I am going in a marathon.” You can almost see it in levels. Our brain accepts steps, it is rare for an individual to be successful at their goals if there isn’t a plan from the beginning. The wonderful ending to this beautiful dream is looking back at it all. You remember all the steps that you learned, and the plan becomes a part of you. You are now living the good life!
The Confidence is Beginning to Build…
Life is more realistic now that you see the steps. The confidence builds which is your foundation to build on, because confidence takes away the FEAR blocks (self -doubt blocks)and replaces them with strong blocks. All of a sudden You are Happy!
So…In the beginning…the plan brings action, watch it all unfold.
The Red Flag
Do not get caught up in more than three goals, it can backfire on you and YOU will lose your focus. Maybe instead pick three goals and pick one out the 3 you want to do first!
From the beginning ~ How to Obtain Self – Discipline to Achieve Your Goals?
You change your life.
Making a viable plan towards a goal that you have always valued, and as you follow the plan towards your goal; you will achieve self-discipline and confidence. The passion for your goal makes the whole journey easier to achieve.
Self-Improvement Tips : How to Overcome Shyness
The Five Stages of Grief
Everyone will encounter the loss of someone or something during one’s lifetime. Most people have more than one significant loss over the span of a lifetime. The grief that accompanies a loss can feel unbearable. A person may not realize it, but grief is part of the healing process. Grief is the emotional suffering one must endure after the loss of something dear. A death of a family member, or friend, or a treasured pet, or divorce, is cause for grief. Disappointment due to the loss of a job, career, or even the foreclosure of a home can cause intense disappointment. Grief can also be very intense due to a physically debilitating handicap caused by accident, crime, or disease.
According to Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, the healing process comes in five stages of grief. People endure grief in different ways. Sometimes one can remain in one of the first four stages for many months. One’s situation will be emotionally painful unless one can progress to the fifth and final stage – acceptance.
It’s important to note, most of us have the empathy or compassion to recognize that the loss caused by death, debilitation, or even divorce can be significant and create a deep depression; however, a disappointment in a financial or social standing can be devastating and just as emotionally debilitating. One loses the belief in himself/herself. An individual’s accomplishments in life are a direct result of the right choices one has made in his/her lifetime. When these accomplishments or rewards are lost or taken away, whether by fault or no fault of the individual, it is heartbreaking.
One begins to feel worthless, especially if he/she can no longer provide for their family. Financial burdens can be so overwhelming that they destroy one’s soul. These burdens can make one angry, and take away an individual’s self-esteem, so much so one will begin to question every decision he or she has ever made. Escaping those feelings of fear and inadequacy can cause even the most sophisticated person to make dreadful decisions, even self-destructive decisions that hurt those they love. People often do not think of the five stages of grief as being applicable to this type of loss or disappointment; however, one who is suffering as a result of a financial loss or setback needs to be supported and validated just as any other loss.
FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF EXPLAINED:
1. Denial and Isolation: At first one does not want to believe what has happened, and withdraws or detaches oneself from one’s ordinary social circumstances. This stage could last a little while, or many months.
2. Anger: The emotions of the grief stricken person may take on these feelings in the form of anger. One may be furious at the individual who imposed this pain. Many individuals, even though, as prudent people, realize nothing could have prevented the situation, but feel personally responsible and blame themselves.
3. Bargaining with God: It normal for the one grieving to make bargains with God or his/her higher power. One will often ask, “I will do this (particular thing), if you, God, will take this loss and pain away?”
4. Depression: The individual is frequently engulfed in an emotional numbness and fog, and there is anger and deep sadness remaining under the surface, ready to bubble up. It is difficult to maintain one’s composure, and one is often brought to tears. This depression can leave one listless and melancholy for weeks or months. It is important to seek the assistance of a counselor, so he or she can facilitate in the healing process.
5. Acceptance: After the anger, depression, and these melancholy feelings have subsided, the individual eventually acknowledges the authenticity of the loss.
GRIEF AND STRESS
Due to the grief and stresses of the situation, it is normal to have conflicting emotions. Being despondent, expressing feelings of anger, feeling abandoned, feeling ashamed, and/or emotionally distressed frequently are associated with serious feelings or loss. Because of numerous tenacious, negative emotions about the loss, this can result in extremely stressful feelings and a decrease in self-esteem.
The avoidance of dealing with these emotional feelings caused by the loss can result in failure to address the five stages of grief successfully. It is necessary to confront these poignant and sensitive situations to achieve good emotional health once again. Refusing to accept feelings like the sensations of mental despondency, results in a more difficult manner in which to achieve mental health and a healthy physical body than facing the hard choice of going through the five stages of grief. When one hears or thinks of the old cliche, “keep your chin up,” or other ways of shutting off these complicated emotions, one may feel obliged to deny or conceal these emotions.
Doing this will only exacerbate the negative emotional health of the individual. The consequence of this problem results in the person continuing to feel these negative emotions and sometimes dwell on these emotions, and it will take much more time for the healing process to become real. Every person is different, and recognizing how personal the acceptance of a loss in various situations, depends on the person. It is imperative to acknowledge and believe that you will eventually get through this.
RECOVERING FROM GRIEF
With the assistance of a good support group, such as, family and friends, one will heal at an accelerated pace. If one has caring, listening friends, and can share his/her sincere feelings; the healing process is fostered. There are many wonderful counselors willing and eager to help in this process of healing.
It is important to eat a well-balance diet, drink only non-alcoholic drinks, and get enough sleep. This person needs to be aware not to depend on medications, and should discuss the circumstances with his/her physician concerning the matter. Exercise is especially important. Exercise increases the endorphins in the brain, and helps overcome the emotional swings and feelings of depression.
The majority of individuals are unprepared for the emotions that accompany grief. Frequently, tragedy strikes so abruptly and unexpectedly, no one is ever prepared or forewarned. Mourning comes as an additional shock. Even if one is expecting death, or something like the loss of a job, or a foreclosure, it is difficult to be emotionally prepared. It is imperative to take care of the self. Self-care habits should constantly be practiced. The shock and dismay of a death or loss of a job, foreclosure, or divorce, or whatever the loss may consist of, self-care is helpful in overcoming the pain and sorrow until one can accept the unfortunate circumstances of life. Self-care discipline helps one to overcome the depression and emotional pain.
If one is facing a foreclosure or loss of a career, this can be just as traumatic and difficult to deal with as a death. Many individuals can lose their motivation during stressful periods like this. They need some emotional encouragement and support to find a solution to these circumstances. When statements come due, it is complicated and demanding emotionally to take care of the paper work and make the calls necessary to solve these problems. Grief, worry, and disappointment can cause various negative feelings to erupt from nowhere
REFERENCE- Dr Kubler-Ross, Elisabeth. Five stages of grief. Retrieved March 10, 2010 from the World Wide Web
http://www.memorialhospital.org/library/general/stress-the-3.html
Self-Improvement Tips : How to Overcome Shyness
Happiness is partially a state of mind. It is an experience replete with joy, pleasure and immense satisfaction. A person is said to be in a state of happiness if he/she experiences something good or hears something that elates his/her mood and lifts his/her sunken spirits. Various approaches that elucidate on happiness and try to identify the source from where one attains this stage.
The various perspectives are that of philosophical, psychological, biological and religious. People who lead a contented life and a good flourishing life are believed to be inebriated with happiness. This is the belief of religious thinkers and philosophers. Psychologists have used various theoretical models to describe happiness and put forth that it encompasses all that it is positive in life– Positive activities and positive emotions. According to their school of thought happiness can be described as being three different kinds– That of having utmost pleasure, being engaged in things that give immense satisfaction and being able to find valid reason and meaning in whatever endeavor one has taken up.
Positive psychologists have done considerable research on happiness and have categorized positive emotions further into emotions that relate to the past, to the present and to the future. Quite interestingly, the emotions that suggest a state of happiness when one thinks about the past experiences are that of contentment, tranquility, satisfaction and pride. The positive emotions that one experiences regarding the present time are that of gratification and pleasure. Gratification can be attained when one sticks to authenticity. Pleasure is attained through immediate momentary actions.
Many people opine that it is rather difficult to quantify happiness but this hindrance has been overcome to a certain extent with the help of certain tools developed by researchers like for instance, the Oxford Happiness Questionnaire which throws light on the levels of happiness that people experience. Moreover, man is a social animal and happiness is achieved when one is actively engaged in social networks. Hence, ultimately, whether it is a philosophical, psychological, religious or biological approaches that one looks into to find a valid explanation for happiness– Human relationships is what matters most and correlates most with happiness!
Things to remember in your pursuit to happiness:
1. Happiness is not 100% within our power. We cannot control all aspects of our life and some of our happiness levels are preset by genetics or our environment (50%), which means we can only control part of how we feel.
2. Happiness is partially within our control, so we can set up situations and experiences which will bring us happiness. Some aspects of happiness are in our control. Our thoughts control our feelings, so think positive and about things that make you feel happy.
3. Money and material objects have not been shown in studies to improve long-term feelings of happiness. Buying “stuff” may bring temporary feelings of happiness but does not appear to last.
4. Relationships are an integral factor in long-term happiness. Having family and friends that are supportive and that are there for you correlates high with feelings of happiness. Be committed to nurturing your relationships with people.
5. Focus on positive and happy memories and experiences. People who share their time together- Whether it be taking a hike or going out to dinner, report higher levels of happiness than those who buy material objects. Those experiences seem to make an imprint on our memories and make us feel happier in the long-term.
Self-Improvement Tips : How to Overcome Shyness
Do you want to achieve your goals? If yes, this is one article you need to read and read again, if possible everyday. In this article, you are going to know the reason why you have not been able to achieve your goals and what you need to do.
In life, I found out that a very smaller percentage of people, like four percent, actually achieve their goals. It is not that the remaining percentage does not want to. Actually everybody wants to get the result they want in life. But this bigger percentage of people want to achieve their goals, they hope to achieve their goals, they wish to achieve their goals, they prefer to achieve their goals, they would like to achieve their goals, they think that they should achieve their goals, what really happened was that they are not committed to achieve their goals.
The actual reason why you are not able to achieve your goals is because you are not committed. When you are really committed to do something, it then becomes a must and not a should or wish, which can be considered wishful thinking. When something is a must for you, you go for it from a different frame of mind. You will do whatever it takes to achieve it, provided it is legal and moral.
Many people wish to achieve their goals, so they do things which is within their comfort zone. As long as it is not painful, it is comfortable. Whenever they are pushed beyond the comfort zone, they start giving excuses like “I can not do it because I do not have the money” and others like that.
There is need for you to ask yourself if you are really committed to achieve your goals. In the past, in your life, have you ever wanted to do something which you eventually got done after you had earlier put it off? Why? You put it off earlier because it was not a must. You did it because the dateline is near and it became a must.
Were there anything in your life in the past when you want to do it, but you put it off and you never got doing it? You never got doing it because it never became a must. Whenever you really want to achieve your goals, make it a must by putting yourself on the line.
Do not just commit to yourself and say you promised to achieve your goals, but make a commitment public. The moment you do this, you could not back out to achieve your goals again.
Self-Improvement Tips : How to Overcome Shyness
How To Build Self Esteem
When you have a low self esteem, it affects all areas of your life. Having a low self esteem affects how you perform at your job, how you treat and interact with others, and how you treat yourself. People with low self esteem often:
The way you feel about yourself determines the amount of happiness that you let into your life. Integrate the following techniques and changes into your life to begin to improve how you feel about yourself on a regular basis and build self esteem.
1. Train your brain. Have self-discipline of the mind. When you start to think bad things about yourself, change your thoughts. Your feelings are a direct reflection of your thoughts. Have a good thought about yourself stored as your default to pull out when you start thinking badly.
2. Act like the person you want to become. Know someone who always seems happy and generally pleasant to be around? Do you wish you could handle a problem like they do, or be as well liked as them? Modeling is the best way to change behavior. Act like that person to become more like that person.
3. Be more than ‘OK’. When asked how you are doing, instead of answering OK, or fine, or even ‘not good’, answer with ‘great’, ‘well’, or ‘never better’.
4. Document your good qualities. Make a list of things you like about yourself using “I am” or “I have”. Read this list every morning as soon as you wake up, and every night before you go to bed for 30 days.
5. Be helpful to someone. Part of how we feel about ourselves has to do with the connection we feel with others. When you help others, you strengthen that connection. Hold the door for an elderly person, help a mom with her arms full, or take your neighbor’s garbage cans back.
6. Let yourself say ‘No’. Learn to say know to things are do not build self esteem and things that go against who you are. Put your personal needs before the needs of others.
7. Stop regretting your past. If we only knew then, what we know now. Be more kind and compassionate towards the choices you made in the past. Start to believe that you made the best decision at the time with the information that you had and it will be easier to let go and move on.
Improving self esteem can feel like a long, winding road. View the twists and turns as lessons learned with unique surprises uncovered about yourself and others along the way.
Self-Improvement Tips : How to Overcome Shyness
Self motivation and self discipline are probably the two most essential tools for anyone looking to achieve a life of abundance. The really scary part about it is how few people actually have either of these two tools at their disposal.
How on earth can we expect to achieve great things in our lives if we are unable to create self motivation and simply rely on others and their motivation to get us going?
We need to realize that it is our own responsibility to keep ourselves motivated and focused on what it is that we are aiming to achieve in life. Very often all we need is a bit of guidance or insight into how to be able to achieve this in order to bring about drastic changes for the better in our lives.
Here are a few very basic ideas as to where you should begin to look in order to keep yourself on track and to heighten your self motivation:These few pointers might seem very basic or simple, but if you have the guts to try and do them properly, you will soon find that they might sound simple, but in reality are far more difficult to master and you will need to put all the self motivation together which you can muster in order to be able to do so.
You see, self motivation is in fact all about beginning to be able to take responsibility for your decisions and actions in life and is probably the only vehicle which will truly take you to a life of abundance where you are in control of your own life and no longer leaving it in the hands of others to make decisions for you.
So why not find out the true meaning of wealth and how it can affect all areas of your life so as to create a reality of abundance, harmony and happiness in your future, it is never too late to begin as we are all destined to be great, it is just our conditioning and lack of self motivation which often stands between us and this future.
Self-Improvement Tips : How to Overcome Shyness
Sometimes leaders feel they must present an air of ultimate knowledge and infallibility or they will lose the respect of their subordinates. There is a line from the book of Proverbs which states “He who knows not and knows not he knows not: he is a fool – shun him.” This is exactly what people will do to leaders who either do not realize they don’t know, or try to disguise the fact.
In fact, a leader who adopts this attitude will become ineffective because others will quickly see through the charade. The result will be subordinates who lose respect for the leader and even begin to see him or her as a joke. People are much more likely to respect and want to follow a leader who admits to not knowing.
In “Charmides”, Socrates, in discussing the word temperance with Charmides and his cousin Critias, comes to the conclusion that temperance is “a man to know what he knows, and what he does not know.” There’s a critical point there. A leader must clearly understand not only what he or she knows, but also what he or she doesn’t know. Indeed a leader can’t know everything.
So what should a leader know? That depends on what he or she is leading. I used to tell new leaders that the only thing I expected them to know was…everything! My point being that it was incumbent upon them as leaders to try to learn as much as possible about those areas for which they were responsible.
Is that reasonable? Of course, as I said, no one can know everything; but, I do think it’s reasonable to expect a leader to strive to continually expand their knowledge base. Since I had a much wider area of responsibility than they did, I had to work even harder to set the example. I made it a point to get out of the office and work with the people in the various areas to learn more about what they were doing because I wasn’t an expert in everything. Doing this actually provided three benefits.
First, I learned something new about a part of my area of responsibility. Second, I experienced firsthand, the conditions my people worked in and where I might be able to improve their lives a little. When they asked for help, I was able to better understand what they were saying. Third, they saw that I was willing to learn and take the risk of looking a little foolish as I attempted to learn what they were experts at.
As the Proverb said, the leader is a fool who doesn’t understand that he or she knows not. I once heard a comment that ignorance is being in the state of not knowing. Everyone is ignorant in some areas. Stupidity, on the other hand, is when one is in the state of ignorance and fails to fix that state before taking action. Ignorance is acceptable, but stupidity will get a leader into trouble.
You don’t know everything, but you must know what you know not.
Self-Improvement Tips : How to Overcome Shyness
Are you angry most of the time? Anger is a natural emotion, and something that every human experiences. And while it’s somewhat clich, the key is to control anger, rather than allowing it to control us. One of the main problems is that many of us don’t deal with anger in the right way. Here are some tips to help you achieve that goal:
1. Take an anger management course.
If you still have anger problems after dealing with the situation on your own, then perhaps you need to take an anger management course. Some people find this method to be particularly effective, since they have the opportunity to interact with others who suffer from the same disorder. Indeed, misery loves company. However, if you’re a more introverted person, then you may want to avoid such courses.
2. Find a way to release your anger constructively.
The methods used vary from person-to-person. Some people find that a punching bag is effective, while others run a marathon. The activity itself isn’t as important as your ability to diffuse your anger. If you’re unable to reduce our anger levels constructively, then the anger could manifest itself through inappropriate behavior.
3. Walk away.
We’re all familiar with the expression “running into a brick wall.” Unfortunately, oftentimes in life that’s what we do when we fail to alter our behavior. One of the reasons why many of us have problems with anger is that we keep putting ourselves in situations that trigger the anger! Sometimes it’s best to walk away from situations (and people) that tend to make us overly angry. And if you’re unable to avoid the person or situation, then cope it as constructively as possible.
4. Read self-help books.
Today, it seems as though there’s a self-help book for every problem that any human has ever experienced. You can also find several self-help books on anger-management. Ask around to learn which ones were the most effective for others.
5. Take deep breaths.
While we don’t think much about breathing, it’s the essence of human life. When we become stressed or angered, our adrenaline levels increase and our heart rates start to skyrocket. One of the most effective ways to handle the situation is to stop, and then focus on our breathing. Take a deep breath, and then slowly count to ten as you exhale. Repeat this process three times. This method will help to regulate your heart rate, reduce your stress levels, and most importantly-diffuse your anger!
6. Put things into perspective.
After exploding in anger, we often realize later that the situation wasn’t as major as we thought it was at the time. When you feel your anger levels rising, ask yourself: will the situation matter 100 years from now? There’s a 99% chance that it won’t, so try to put the situation in perspective.
If you’re having anger management problems, then consider these tips to deal with the problem as effectively and constructively as possible. Again, control the anger before it controls you!
Self-Improvement Tips : How to Overcome Shyness
For us to succeed in life, we must overcome all the negatives in our life. Negative thoughts hinders us from taking the first step as we pursue our dreams thus making us fail in everything we are doing. We can be able to overcome all the negative thoughts in our lives. We should not allow negative thoughts to dominate our mind.
One way of overcoming negative thoughts is by thinking positively always. If you put a drop of blue color in water, the water will turn blue. When you add more water, the solution will start becoming clear without any color. It will reach a point where you will realize that you cannot detect whether that solution had any color. The same case applies to our thought life. If we allow positive thoughts to dominate our minds always, negative thoughts will start disappearing. We can make a firm decision to always dwell on positive thoughts.
Another way of overcoming this habit is by associating with the right kind of people. Associate with people you want to be like. The Bible says that bad company corrupts good morals. Prolonged association with negative thinkers makes us think negatively always. Always associate with positive people. I know many people who have started thinking negatively just because they associated with the wrong kind of people.
We must also learn to see the positive side of every event if we are to overcome negative thoughts. When we are facing any problem, we should not focus too much on the problem rather we should see the positive side of it. We should count the blessings that have been bestowed unto us rather than focusing on the problem. We should not be problem oriented rather we should be solution oriented.
Self-Improvement Tips : How to Overcome Shyness
A sharp and well-functioning memory is very helpful in day-to-day life. When we’re facing the troubles that come with modern living, a good memory helps us overcome these problems.
Your memory serves you throughout your day, no matter what kinds of activities you’re involved in. In particular, students benefit greatly from a well-functioning memory; it helps them learn the large quantities of information that are required of them.
Anyone can benefit from having a good memory, since it aids in learning and remembering information. But since having a good memory is so important, is there anything you can do to improve your own?
It’s sometimes easy to forget the information you learn, especially when there’s a large amount of material that you need to cover. It can be tough for your memory to handle all the information that you’re throwing at it, and you’ll likely forget some of it.
If you’d like to improve your memory, you can try budgeting your time by using your mornings more efficiently. It’s never a bad idea to get up early and read over your information aloud.
Hearing the words being spoken aloud is a great way to ensure that you memorize the information you’re studying. You’re reading and listening to the information at the same time, which makes it more prominent in your memory, and seeing the words as well as hearing them will create a strong link.
Some people just don’t function well in the morning. If you hate getting up early, try reading your notes aloud before going to sleep instead. This method worked for me; I read my notes every night before bed, and the information became easier to remember. I aced my tests because the information was strong in my memory.
In addition, research has shown that going to bed earlier actually aids in memory retention. Those who go to bed earlier can remember more of what they learned than those who go to bed late, and going to bed early also helps recover memories that you may have forgotten.
It’s a good idea to practice memory improvement methods, and there are several ways to do it. Try my method first, and then experiment with others. Find the one that works best for you, and stick with it.
Self-Improvement Tips : How to Overcome Shyness
What Are Your Thoughts?
One very accurate and organic observation methodology is The Enneagram. It can be used with incredible accuracy to describe nine essential personality types or operating styles, within which there are a myriad number of ways people demonstrate the basic patterns. These core types define the way people’s chief characteristics inhibit their choices, life options and connection to what we call their essence or true nature.
At its most simplistic, it is a study of the nine chief personality types with the understanding that each type in its most fluid form moves to two of the other types under differing circumstances and is flavoured usually by the type or point adjacent to it on this mysterious diagram. This triangulated version of personality is also referred to as “The Law of Three.”
Once we become aware of our basic operating type we can unravel questions such as:
When is it beneficial to surrender to our emotions and when is it better to observe them from afar?
When does it pay to stay in a relationship or is it healthier to get out?
When is it good to stay with something and when is it intelligent to seek new possibilities?
When is it wise to work with the intellect and when should we give in to our feelings?
Is it wise to analyse something too much or is it more fruitful to just make a decision and do something?
When is it better to be a hedonist and when is it better to look for intimacy? Can we combine both?
In what circumstances should we be outspoken and when should we back down?
At what stage should we look at a new career and when should we stay and consolidate our position?
When should we consider more physical activities and when should we seek intellectual or artistic stimulation? Is there a conflict?
is it possible to have secur ity and spontaneity peacefully co-existing in our life?
Can we lead our existing life if we do not like our work?
When is a good time to take a long break from work? When is it essential and when is it overdue?
It will help if we are prepared to look at the more hidden aspects of our personalities otherwise the task of unravelling our hidden potential will be impossible. Most of us would like to go from point A to point B in some sort of improvement spiral. It is an appealing idea but not very helpful.
Below we represent certain chief characteristics as portrayed by this System. A sure-fire way to find out what characteristics are holding us back is to ask our friends, colleagues and family who are usually all too happy to point out to us some of our less appealing personal traits.
There are different perspectives to ascertain your predominant type and I will list below nine questions, which relate specifically to the nine types and precisely in that order:
1. You have an endless stream of judging thoughts, and are constantly comparing yourself to others.
2. You are socially ambitious and attracted to powerful people, offering them your help in return for their attention and protection.
3. It is important that you present an image of success to others, regardless of how you might be feeling inside.
4. You feel impatient with ordinary life, and are fascinated by the extraordinary, the dramatic and tragic.
5. At parties you tend to be quiet and invisible, preferring not to interact or participate.
6. You are very aware or your own feelings, and the feelings of others, and you are suspicious of people’s hidden intentions towards you.
7. You tend to avoid deep, emotional contact, preferring fun activities, pleasant talking and doing many things at once.
8. You enjoy being powerful and never let people take advantage of you, and you respect these qualities in oth ers.
9. It is difficult for you to maintain a personal point of view, but you are easily able to recognise and support another’s position
What we are trying to accomplish in this fashion is to really use the mirror of our relationships as a method to get clearer on who we are and why we have been operating in ways that have been destructive or harmful to others and ourselves.
If we can observe our habits and qualities constructively and without judging them it will be easier to watch them disappear. The more we fight some habit the more difficult it will be to let go of it. Ask any smoker! What is even worse is winning over some bad habit through force and not understanding as this only pushes that habit down and another one quickly surfaces. This fact is well known to any person who has genuinely tried to give up some habit or compulsion they feel does not serve them anymore. It is also well known by behavioural psychologists who work with addictions.
You could call the chief characteristics of each type addictions of some sort, but the good news is that by watching them with some acceptance, they lose their power over us. As these so-called negative characteristics begin to lose their hold over us we notice a quite obvious shift in our relationships with others and ourselves.
There was a recent survey in the USA of 733 multi-millionaires about the reasons for their success. The top five answers were being honest with all people, being well disciplined, getting along with people, having a supportive spouse and working harder than others.
Many of these qualities represent some of the virtues of certain types, so with increased awareness of your potential and your weaknesses, intelligence commences taking the upper hand and opportunities and creative solutions are seen more easily.
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